Conflict in the workplace
Conflict is NORMAL!
Disagreeing is fine!
It is just the proof that we are not living in fusion or submission, that we are different, that we are individuals… All this is great news, and we deeply know it. So let’s celebrate discrepancy as a healthy part of life, as difference is a healthy element of a relationship.
Nonetheless conflict can become unhealthy, when violence -physical, emotional, verbal- is used or when we are playing a game with elements that are not overtly part of what is discussed, mainly based on past wounds.
As human beings we long for recognition, belonging, security, autonomy, self expression, wholeness… and sometimes we do not manage to express our deep needs in a way that can be heard or accepted because we have distorted them to conform, to please our parents, our teachers, those in authority. We can therefore go quickly to judgement and criticism, which is an easy way not to look at oneself by labelling others, or we can attempt to force others to see our way, which could be tempting when we are in a higher position.
So, when a conflict arises at work, take it as an invitation to stop, to step back and to consider what is happening, what is playing out. Choose a way to disconnect (closing your eyes, listening to a peaceful music, going for a walk or to another room, walking up and down the stairs, using your journey to reflect instead of playing on your phone), practice centering yourself by reaching your interiority (if you do not know how to do it, you can book a coaching session and learn it) and ask yourself:
What is annoying me?
What do I really want?
What do I need?
What is a reaction of my ego, the accommodated part of my being, my small self, and what is touching my deep inner self and shaking my values and needs?
If you do it, not only will you be more at peace with yourself, but you will be more able to see, hear or feel what is really happening and express it in an appropriate way.
I am running a special offer this month (ends 13th of July) book one coaching session to understand your personal conflict and get 50% off (that's just £40!)
Contact Clotilde in confidence on 07807 129945 or email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit her website
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