Successful change happens when you get out of your own way. For the psyche to shift from being the biggest obstacle to change, is, to decide. You first must want something different. You need to decide, ‘I’m going to change myself’. You need to change your mind.
The science of changing your mind is called Chang-ol-ogy; the process of throwing out the mental junk because ‘you cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it’. The biggest obstacle is having to deal with yourself.
We act out by wasting our own time, procrastinating, spending much time complaining and blaming everyone else.
There’s a story of a man who, when out walking, saw a dog lying on the porch of a house. The dog was making all sorts of groaning sounds. He was curious, so asked the owner, ‘why is your dog moaning and groaning?’ and the owner said, ‘because he’s lying on a nail’. ‘So why doesn’t he get off?’ asks the man. ‘Because it’s not hurting bad enough for him to move!’, was the reply. People get caught up in moaning, groaning. They have just enough energy to complain but then have little left to do anything about changing things. You don’t get in life what you want, you get in life what you are. It doesn’t take much effort to stay at the bottom.
Did you know the wealthiest place on the planet is the graveyard? Buried are the inventions society was never exposed to, ideas and dreams that never became a reality, hopes and aspirations that were never acted upon. Most people allow their inner negative and critical chatter to prevent them reaching their goals.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, ‘once a person’s mind is expanded with an idea or concept, it can never be satisfied going back to where it was’. This is the kind of breakthrough that is needed to push through resistance to making changes.
In the midst of change, you become conscious of your inner negative chatter. In all that chatter you still have one element: ‘your will’. Activate a new mind, and by the law of repetition of positive thoughts, sooner or later this positive attitude will become the louder voice in your head.
So, forget about moaning and groaning about your circumstances. Forget about what you don’t want and instead, focus on what you do want.
For change to happen, you must first feel uncomfortable; you must feel into your ‘will’ or desire to get out of your own way and must recognise it’s going to be challenging. That it’s going to require work on your part, and on-going personal and professional self-mastery.
If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly, yes, badly! It’s worth doing badly because any new task is worth practising until you’ve mastered it – this is growth.
You can become more by working to develop yourself. Look at your life and ask yourself:
· What is my situation right now?
· What are my strengths?
· What are my weaknesses?
· What gives my life a sense of purpose and fulfilment?
· What does a full, abundant life mean to me?
Then, decide you deserve that. The biggest obstacle to change is feeling undeserving of success. Frank Sinatra said, ‘the best revenge in life is massive success’.
For sustainable and long-term positive improvements in all areas of your life, you need to decide to be bold. You need to decide you are worthy of success and attaining your dreams and aspirations and in terms of commitment, preparation, action and the effort required for you to steer your life in the direction you want it.
Whatever you decide is important to you, or whatever gives you a sense of value (something you would like to own or want to do for your family or for society) hold that thought. Ignore the inner chatter that you cannot do it or ‘how am I going to do it?’ and trust that opportunities will find you. When you truly change your mind, there should be evidence in your life.
Nietzsche said, ‘if you know the ‘why’ for living, you can endure almost any ‘how’. Find out the reasons why you do, what you do. Make a conscious commitment to be happy and start being happy with the small things. Let your mind and body no longer be a record of the past, but design a new map to your future.
When we free the body from the chains of emotional addictions, of negative thinking, the body settles into the present moment and it’s liberating energy for creation. It is called joy.